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Joke of the Day

"What if texting broke for a month society would be like uhhhhhjjjjjjhhhhhhhhhhh ""hello may I please speak to so and so"" all nervous and shit"

"My wife has eczema on her Boobs. She has a cracking pear of Tits."

"opening a deli called ""Work"" a steakhouse caled ""The Gym"" adn a fried chicken place caled ""A Funeral"" for ppl who like to eat & need excuses"

"What's the difference between a dead dog and a black guy on the road Dead dog has skidd marks on it"

"NSFW: I just realized that I've never been with a black or middle eastern girl... So I added them to my fuckit list."

"Going to my daughter's middle school basketball game. In light of recent events, I've asked her to leave the guns at home."

"Is knowing of collapse of supermarket in Latvia? Is sad but now has five more potato for all of Latvia."

"I used to have a voice like Justin Bieber... then I turned four."

"Whenever anyone quotes the Bible to me I quote Harry Potter to them because I too love a good magical fiction book."

"Sometimes, When I Think Of My Books... I touch my shelf."