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Joke of the Day

"Why do they carry Marines around on Naval ships? Because sheep would be too obvious."

"Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he didn't have an ear for music."

"What do you get if you let your child dress up as Link for Halloween and they eat to much candy? A hyper-Link!"

"What do call a girl that eats pastries while browsing the internet? Eclair."

"There are two muffins in an oven. The one muffin says to the other one, ""Woah, a silent muffin!"""

"GENIE: u get 3 wishes! ME: for my first wish, I want a never-ending bowl of guac GENIE: guac, huh? Yeah, that's gonna cost you an extra wish"

"Drugs don't kill people. People that don't have drugs kill people."

"What was the primary role of the aristocrats during the French revolution? They put their head into it."

"If you get a tattoo of a thermos, Is it now a thermostat?"

"I was having sex with this woman for 10 minutes before I realized it was a man, and then for like 20 minutes after."