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Joke of the Day

"More people die from drug overdose than guns... Because guns can't take drugs."

"Why did Sally Fall off the swing? [kind of rude] Because she has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally."

"It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself."

"Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.? Blonde: I don't know. Why? Teller: It was easier to spell. Blonde: Easier than what?"

"Pour your beer in a coffee cup because sometimes walking around with a beer during breakfast is frowned upon."

"I am in my truest form when the food comes at a restaurant and I side-eye plates, suspicious that everyone got more fries than I did."

"Someone broke into the local police station and stole the toilet. Right now the cops have nothing to go on."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Smallpox."

"Do you want to hear a joke about a psychologist? - Yes. - Why?"

"I want to take my dream girl on a traction engine ride Things will get steamy pretty quickly."