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Joke of the Day
"If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Smallpox."
Next Joke
"Q: Why are doctors sued for malpractice at the beach? A: Because they are judged by a jury of their piers."
"Q: What is 68 to a blonde? A: Where she goes down on you and you owe her one."
"I don't know if digital anal sex toys would be legal.... But iAnal"
"Accidentally feng shui'd tonight when everybody wang chunged and I've never been more embarrassed. That lamp does look great there though."
"Today I've smoked 2 packs of cigs, eaten only deep-fried foods & took the seatbelts out of my truck. Free healthcare is going to be awesome."
"My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end. The parents found out I wasn't qualified and just enjoyed kicking children."
"ME: Hey you haven't talked to me lately, are you mad at me FRIEND: No things are just really awful ME: Oh thank god FRIEND: What"
"Harry Potter: A Shortened Version Voldemort: I must kill Harry Potter. Everyone else: Lol, no."
"What do you call an Italian hooker? A pastatute!"