84336

Joke of the Day

"Why did Sally Fall off the swing? [kind of rude] Because she has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally."

"I never understood why being called an Einstein is bad. It's only relatively insulting."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... no penis"

"Call me crazy but you can't follow, star, retweet, and trophy me and then act surprised when I show up to your house in a wedding dress."

"From the pilot during his welcome message: ""We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight."

"I appreciate and am so thankful for all law enforcement officers ...until I'm driving."

"There is an existential horror upon seeing your password in handwriting."

"People say I'm odd because... I CAN'T EVEN"

"There's a highway to hell. There's only a stairway to heaven. So a car ride downhill or an arduous climb up. Anyway, welcome to the baptism."

"Sales clerk: That handbag is very pleasing to the eye. Customer: Really? I don't like it. Giant Disembodied Eye: YOU REALLY SHOULD BUY IT"