195609

Joke of the Day

"Someone broke into the local police station and stole the toilet. Right now the cops have nothing to go on."

"""Single and ready to Pringle."" - my Friday nights :("

"What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country!"

"Me: Can I order the conch fritters please? Waitress: The ""ch"" is pronounced like a ""k"" Me: Okay Bick."

"A husband and a wife were at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. ""Och, I look like a pig!"" The man nods, ""And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"""

"Today I bought some shoes from my local drug dealler.. I don't know what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day"

"How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany? Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss."

"Girlfriend is having trouble opening an oyster at dinner. She hands it to me to open. Just as I pry it open, I say, ""The easiest way to open this is with a little mussel"""

"I'll buy the magic mushrooms, fireballs and flying raccoons but a Princess dating an Italian plumber?"

"my favorite pickup line... ""Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?"""