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Joke of the Day

"Girls, I think it was Thomas Jefferson who once said; ""Never put off for tomorrow, when you can put out today."""

"need to find a better way to trick my dog into taking his medication bc the last 2 times he tricked me into taking it"

"When Tim Tebow found out he got cut by the Eagles he threw a fit... .. And even that got intercepted."

"What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grains..."

"Why is Oedipus against profanity? He kisses his mother with that mouth"

"Finally tried Viagra,... Damn near broke my hand!"

"yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!"

"Big words Don't you just hate when people use big words to try and sound more photosynthesis?"

"Backseat drivers are the worst. They're always like ""the light is red!"" and ""don't text and drive!"" and ""oh god, I think that was a person!"""

"The best place to hide a dead body is page 2 of Google search results or page 1 of Bing."