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Joke of the Day

"The best place to hide a dead body is page 2 of Google search results or page 1 of Bing."

"3 y/o: I want a bagel Me: We don't have any 3 y/o: You're a idiot Me: How did you survive your abortion"

"What do you say to a kid if they give you a picture? That's pretty shit mate. My 20 year old cousin who has no arms can draw better than you. You have no talent, deal with it."

"What do you call a helicopter mixed with a rhino? Well hell-if-i-know!"

"Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead"

"Warning: Groaner. What could have caused the Titanic to both sink and not sink. A Hicenberg."

"At the beginning of this year I made a New Year's resolution to lose 10 pounds.... ...Only 15 pounds to go!"

"*popular kid is struggling in class *gets a tutor to help *Kool-Aid"

"What did the ocean ask the scooba diver? Water you doing here?"

"A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it."