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Joke of the Day

"What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Hose A and Hose B"

"Credit cards are VERY dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors."

"Anal with my girlfriend made my day. But it made her hole weak."

"I don't understand why I keep getting denied for bank loans because I have good credit & I'm only asking to borrow like four or five banks."

"If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

"What do you call a Muslim woman with an opinion? A corpse."

"Man found dead... in an ice cream van covered in sprinkles. Police think he topped himself."

"Knock knock Who's there? I got up."

"Disappointed that there will be no Call of Cthulhu client for Linux I wanted to go insane installing *and* playing the game."

"My dog's pissed cos I buy him Senior food. He won't admit he's older now. So I scratch out the ""i"" on each can & tell him it's Mexican food."