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Joke of the Day

"There are only 2 branches of the military... There are only 2 branches of the American Military: the Army & the Navy The Air Force is a corporation. The Marines are #*?& cult."

"Last night at an Indian diner the server walks up to me and asks ""Curry Ok Sir?"" I said ""Alright, just one song and then you can fuck off""."

"What Metallica song does Captain America hate? Trapped Under Ice."

"Men don't know what it's like to give birth but women don't know what it's like to have children you may not be aware of. Let's call it even"

"The devil asked his resident weatherman what the forecast was for the week ahead... ""Hail, Satan"""

"I had such a bad allergic reaction to a peanut today... ... that I got sued by TheFineBros."

"Destroying the Death Star was a terrorist act. Allah Ackbar!!!!!"

"What did Adam say to Eve on the day before Christmas? ""It's Christmas, Eve."""

"You'd think that when two atoms in a salt bond, they're being kind by sharing electrons, but actually, one atom is stealing the electron from the other. Isn't it ionic?"

"Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back."