9001

Joke of the Day

"Knock knock Who's there? I got up."

"What's a storm trooper's favorite pollster? Pew! Pew! Pew!"

"Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? Because she moans with the other."

"Yo mama so fat ... ... last christmas I took a picture of her. It's still printing."

"A male feminist walks into a bar. . . Because it was set so low"

"How many dead babies does it take to fill up my house? One more."

"K: 1s(2)2s(2)2p(6)3s(2)3p(6)4s(1) Or you can write it in noble gas notation as [Ar]4s(1) and all of those numbers argon. (OC)"

"Joss Whedon should open his own version of a Tractor Supply store, with gardening and animal supplies ... ... he could call it Whedon Feed 'n Weed-n-feed"

"Why did the chicken kill himself? To get to the other side."

"My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me."