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Joke of the Day

"Credit cards are VERY dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors."

"what do you call a fast ghost? spooky gonzales"

"An arsonist is hired to burn down a slaughterhouse... The job was well done."

"Despite my rock and roll lifestyle, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die via punctured gums from a tortilla chip."

"Madonna is talking with the Spice Girls Says she wants to sponsor a reunion tour so long as she can join them. The girls agree to condition. They call her Old Spice."

"The average life expectancy for a human being is one life."

"What do ducks smoke Quack"

"What do you call a broken vibrator? A dildon't"

"Why did God invent shopping carts? To teach women how to walk on their hind legs."

"Apparently Trump wants to outlaw pre-shredded cheese... ...he keeps going on and on about how he wants to make America grate again..."