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Joke of the Day

"I'm pitching a show called ""Walking Dad"" where dads go around biting each other and then the people who get bitten become dads too."

Next Joke
 
"Just because we have the same last name doesn't mean we have to be Facebook friends, Dad."
"""My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body's telling me yesss...BABY"" Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?"
"gettin prety good at makin baloon animals, so far i can make: - a snake - worm - eel - dog, hot - 2 snakes"
"What is Shrek's most annoying problem? Swamp Ass."
"Math and alcohol don't mix. Don't drink and derive."
"There's been a surge in public sex lately. These people are fucking everywhere."
"What do you call a group of scientologist almonds? Nuts."
"Why are US flags different in San Francisco? They have gay bars."
"I don't get why SRS is so loud. I'm pretty sure I turned off the ""Surround"" setting."