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Joke of the Day

"gettin prety good at makin baloon animals, so far i can make: - a snake - worm - eel - dog, hot - 2 snakes"

"I'm sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the same way you treat everyone all the time."

"If Twitter was any more fun we'd have to smuggle it in from Mexico."

"I watched somebody tell a dad joke in slow motion. It was even funnier because the slow-mo made him look drunk. Finally, a relevant dad joke."

"A study found that being cool in HS does not lead to being successful. The study was conducted by Moms who mean well but aren't helping."

"I just gave up reading a bad book on lock picking couldn't get into it at all."

"What's a dinosaur's favourite poetic meter? Ptero-Dactyls"

"I think maybe the key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial."

"The TV's airing the same pressure cooker ad over and over again. It's Torr-turous."

"What do you call cantaloupe flavored gum? A: A Ty-lemma (pronounced like dilemma)"