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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a group of scientologist almonds? Nuts."

"Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? From trying to blow out lightbulbs."

"What's a mexicans favorite sport? Cross country"

"Dude in front of me at Starbucks made a big show about calling his Grande a ""medium"" and the barista was like, ""Uck, this again"""

"Could yield signs be any more Canadian? ""You might have to stop. I'm not sure. You decide. Do you like me? I'm on a street!"""

"Something touched my leg while in the ocean and apparently I can walk on water now"

"ALBUS: It's a Time-Turner! We can travel back in time and change ANYTHING. SNAPE: That's amazing. We can save- ALBUS: Nah, gave it to a kid."

"LPT: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine into your brain,and that's where shitty ideas come from."

"Local Drowning A hippie drowned at the local beach last night. When asked why the free spirit was unable to be save before his tragic death, a lifeguard commented ""He was too far out, man."""

"I went to a shop and asked the cashier, ""can I have a KitKat Chunky?"" After the cashier came back with a KitKat Chunky, I gave it back to her, saying ""I wanted a regular KitKat, fatso!"""