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Joke of the Day
"Math and alcohol don't mix. Don't drink and derive."
Next Joke
"If I ever became invisible, I'd kick fuck out of a mime Imagine the round of applause he'd get"
"What did the intellectual neckbeard say to his buddy when he was asked about the Mayweather Pacquiao fight? I've never heard of that court case."
"Do you know what I call my hiking playlist? My trail mix"
"I wonder if giraffes can eat so much their stomach explodes bc they just don't know it right away cuz it's in their neck for so long. What."
"[date] Me: 'Don't let her know ur a boxing ring announcer...' Her: ""Shall we order dessert?"" Me: ""LET'S GET READY TO EAT APPLE CRUUUUMBLE!"""
"[Amphibian Playground] BULLFROG: look at all u lil toad nerds TOAD: help! a BULLYfrog! TEACHER SNAKE: i'll handle this *eats everyone*"
"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."
"Last night I woke up in the middle of dreaming about the meaning of life. It was very eye opening."
"What's another name for a casket? Mourning wood."