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Joke of the Day

"Perry was busy building a defensive palisade around the Musketeer compound, but it was leaning over badly. Suddenly Porthos spots the enemy and yells 'Attack! Perry, REPOST!'"

"There's a skinny girl inside me who is just DYING to get out. She stole the last cupcake & then bragged about her metabolism, so I ate her."

"I can't believe I'm in class on Presidents' Day. This is an obamanation."

"Did you hear about that giant cooling device in Florida? It was a Miami heat fan."

"Why doesn't the Mormon Church have a Tour De France team?"

"What do you call a fear of deadly snakes? Common sense."

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt"

"Why are bass guitarists always standing at the front door? Because they don't know when to come in."

"What's the difference between a cactus and a BMW? With a cactus, the pricks are on the outside."

"""How about... we change the 6 to a 7?"" ""I love it!"" --board meeting at the company that makes novelty sunglasses for New Year's Eve"