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Joke of the Day

"There's a skinny girl inside me who is just DYING to get out. She stole the last cupcake & then bragged about her metabolism, so I ate her."

"What do cops and mushrooms have in common? You feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark."

"I am going to stay up tomorrow and watch the election results... But all the commercials say ""If your election lasts longer than four hours, please call your doctor."""

"How do you find a blind man on a nudist beach? It's not hard..."

"How many redditors does it take to post a joke to /r/jokes? Only one. **/r/Jokes** is **widely known** to be a **breeding ground** for new, **original jokes**."

"What's Irish and sits outside? Paddy O'furniture"

"Husband: ""Honey, at work I fainted, and Natalie took me to the doctor. He says I need a brain surgery in 72 hours and blood transfusion also."" Wife: ""Who is Natalie?"""

"My hamster died... He fell asleep at the wheel."

"Why did the old lady fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well"

"Why were Mary and Joseph considered such good businessmen? Because they produced such a great prophet."