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Joke of the Day

"ME: I think we're being followed DATE: Really? M: [checks rear-view mirror] Yep D: Wait you carry that around with you? M: Just keep walking"

"What's the difference between a prostitute with irritable bowel syndrome and an epileptic oyster? You have to shuck the oyster between fits."

"Whats the V in DVD stand for? Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today .. be kind)"

"My wife likes to quote Soundgarden during sex. ""Won't you come"""

"A man got back from the doctor ""I just got back from the doctor,and he said I'm Canadian"" Said the man ""I'm so sorry"" Replies the man with sympathy Shocked,the man shout ""It's spreading!!!"""

"What's the difference between a burger and a burglar? Cooking times."

"Confucious say Man walking down the street carrying a 5-disc CD changer... ...is either walking to or from the Salvation Army."

"What blood type do Canadians have? Type ""eh"""

"My salad for lunch is missing one key ingredient which would make it perfect. Donuts."

"If you're in a hot dog eating contest, poop on the table, and then while everyone is too grossed out to eat, just finish one hot dog."