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Joke of the Day

"What blood type do Canadians have? Type ""eh"""

"I don't like people call me fatty I like people call me to eat."

"If the shoe fits... congratulations. You've correctly measured your feet."

"What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living? You call 'im Maury. :)"

"What happens when doughnuts join a sorority? They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order."

"Why don't North Koreans like jazz music? Because they don't have Seoul."

"I stayed up all night waiting for the sun to rise then it dawned on me"

"WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU MIX A RETARD AND A FUCKHEAD? AN AMERICAN! YOU GET AN AMERICAN!"

"kid doctor: [looking over charts] im not going to lie this is the worst case of cooties ive ever seen little girl: he said he'd been tested!"

"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."