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Joke of the Day

"A man got back from the doctor ""I just got back from the doctor,and he said I'm Canadian"" Said the man ""I'm so sorry"" Replies the man with sympathy Shocked,the man shout ""It's spreading!!!"""

"A man starts having a heart attack mid flight... Person: Is anyone here a doctor? Vegan: I'm a vegan"

"My girlfriend caught me masturbating to Michael Jackson. She asked what I was doing I told her to beat it."

"What do you call a bakery owned by a redhead? A Ginger Bread-House"

"Sometimes I wish I was like my calendar, it always has dates."

"How many tumblr users does it take to change a lightbulb? Light is triggering, shitlord. DOWN WITH THE BULBTRIARCHY"

"What is the best way to watch the ""Saw"" films? In bits and pieces."

"Where do you find an enlightened mosquito? In Bhuddapest"

"What does the horny toad say? Rubbit"

"A wannabee client asked me to find her a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan for $900/month. ...then she added ""Oh, I have a 60 pound dog, too."" I politely replied: ""I don't have a time machine."""