177086

Joke of the Day

"What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema? Fancy a bite?"

"Why did the mexican take xanax? For hispanics attacks"

"Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house."

"What do you call a Romanian grocery clerk? Scanthesku"

"What's the worst thing about kidnapping and raping a young child to death in a dark alley? Getting blood all over your clown suit"

"[grocery produce aisle] ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?"

"I saw the expiration date on my condoms They say it takes thousands of years for latex to degrade, but apparently it's been longer than that since I've gotten laid"

"How Many Lightbulbs Does it Take to Change Captain Jean Luc Picard? 4 or 5."

"[halftime] Coach: Okay men we're literally losing at basketball to a dog... any ideas? -I have one. *pulls out vacuum with a jersey on*"

"Who is the poorest in England? The Tooth Fairy!"