78924

Joke of the Day

"[grocery produce aisle] ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeye."

"""I love my cable company! Their customer service and pricing can't be beat! I'm glad I have no other options!"" said no one ever."

"Two peanuts were walking through Central Park late at night. One was a salted."

"A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study."

"My doctor told me a joke the other day he left me in stitches."

"What does a burning Mexican farm smell like? Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos."

"In the recent news of Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds both passing away... ...Keith Richards, the guitarist for the Rolling Stones, has confirmed to still be alive."

"Where does a king keep his armies? Up his sleevies"

"I was doing CPR on a co-worker for 5 minutes before someone told me that's just how she laughs"