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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Romanian grocery clerk? Scanthesku"

"I've got a great sense of humor *closes eyes and tilts head slightly upward* yes. there is humor nearby. 40, no, 50 yards from here"

"(Animal school) Lion: That's my desk Wildebeast: Sorry, I'm gnu -5 minutes later Sloth: *slowly falling from chair* Ha. Ha. Ha. Gnu!"

"I'm officially unsubscribing from r/Jokes I'm sick of all the dumb puns, I'm quitting cold turkey Happy Thanksgiving people"

"Knock Knock. who's there? Netanya Netanya who? Yep... thanks Obama."

"4 said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7, and now I'm terrified to go into the bathroom."

"[parent-teacher conference] Teacher: Which kid is yours? Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'?"

"Did you hear about that Jew that started a charity? Neither did I."

"Why did the pasta chef take his car into the body shop? Cause it got al dente'd up!"

"I predict that in the year 2050 the only people who will have tramp stamps will be grandmas. Thus they will be referred to as granny stamps."