177083

Joke of the Day

"Answered the door in my bath robe today... Funny place for a door."

"I hate when people text me ""what are you doing?"" at 1:00 pm on a weekday. Well I don't have your Art History degree, so probably ""working""."

"Married life - Honey, are you jealous? - Nope! - Admit it, you're jealous! - I told you, I am not! - Then give me a kiss! - GO KISS THAT UGLY-ASS WHORE WHO LIKED YOUR FACEBOOK STATUS!"

"Victoria's Secret recently invented a bra that contains Bluetooth speakers ... ... because so many women had complained that men stare at their breasts instead of listening to them."

"""Nobody wants to hear about pooping"" Actually Mom, I think you'll find that there's an entire social network dedicated to proving you wrong."

"There's a sale at the Maul Everything's half off"

"Today we honor St. Patrick, the patron saint of puking and peeing."

"Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off."

"My Dyslexic Cat thinks she has "" P "" no. of lives."

"Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there."