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Joke of the Day

"My Dyslexic Cat thinks she has "" P "" no. of lives."

"I rented this bobcat to help me dig up my new pool but he won't even hold the shovel. He's just eating all the neighborhood squirrels."

"Why is it so windy in Texas? because New Mexico blows and Oklahoma sucks"

"What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection? ....... a quarter pounder with cheese."

"If I had a nickel for every time I was right and my parents were wrong. . . I would owe more than what America owes China."

"Where do Muslims go after they die? Everywhere."

"I text back embarrassingly fast or three days later there is no in-between."

"What do you call a bolshevik in a hurry? A rushin' russian."

"What's the difference between two dicks and a joke? You can't take a joke."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked the problem out with a pencil."