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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people text me ""what are you doing?"" at 1:00 pm on a weekday. Well I don't have your Art History degree, so probably ""working""."

"[During Interview] ""Do you have any questions?"" - Yeah, inTitanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?"

"Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, ""What ya doin'?"" She said, ""Buying luggage."""

"Walk in closets Walk-In Closet Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents? Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet."

"*Ghost snatches phone from me* ""Who you gonna call now?"""

"Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.marr"

"I was going to go as a worthless piece of garbage for Halloween... ...but then I realized I go as that every day of the year."

"My wife, girlfriend, and slampiece walk into a bar I'm pretty glad I'm not there right now."

"What do you call a Pokemon with a tiny head? Zikachu"

"I masturbate with soap Just thought I'd come clean"