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Joke of the Day

"*beats arachnophobia* *trips over child dressed as Spider-Man* *fears spiders again*"

"""Oooo, a window. Let's see if I can fly through it."" - Dumbass birds"

"The only B word you should call a girl is Beautiful Bitches love to be called Beautiful"

"Iron Man Joke Iron man is a super hero. Iron, woman. is a command."

"Like I was telling my friends, my wife walked into a door. and that pissed me off so I hit her."

"I love you all so much right now because alcohol."

"me [filing a claim with the insurance company after the basement flooded] We had a pony down there too"

"Why do Puerto ricans have so many kids? Because pulling out is work!!!"

"what do you call a lady with one leg Ilene sorry if I killed you because of how old this is"

"My wife asked me about the movie ""From Hell"" & I described it as a movie about Jack the Ripper, starring Johnny the Depp."