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Joke of the Day

"Got caught stealing a utensil set earlier... I was a whisker away."

"I'm about two tissues away from shoving a tampon up my nose."

"Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months"

"[text from friend) Her: You doing okay? Me: Yeah I guess. Why, what have you heard?"

"13: Mom, you look younger every day. M: What do you want? 13: A new skateboard. M: How young? 13: 29 M: Done."

"What does Bob Marley wear to sleep? pa-jammins"

"A penny lies below the cliff where a jew and black man jumps from, who wins? We don't have enough information to conclude who's likely to win"

"Pal: That's an impressive stingray. How'd you catch it? Me:*flashes back to being dressed as girl stingray* You know, the regular way."

"I hope the last season of ""Lost"" will finally reveal if Jar Jar Binks wears boxers or briefs."

"A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables and the bartender says, You can come in, but don't start anything!"