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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian? One is a snack cracker and the other a crack snacker."

"Why did the crew abandon the chili pepper boat? It was capsaicin. ^(Don't hurt me.)"

"I Gave Up Cross Country Skiing. Ever since it's all been downhill."

"What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby? One is still dicking bimbos while the other was dicking still bimbos."

"Where does Kylie buy her kebabs? From Jason's Doner Van. (Sorry, I'm guessing this one's only for the Aussies and Brits)"

"Fine! I do actually believe in a higher being.. His name is Jonathan and he's about 5 inches higher than me. That bastard."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he's too short to be an Essay."

"Whenever my ex-girlfriend regrets her abortion... ...she just calls and talks to me for an hour."

"How do you get a musician off of your porch? You pay for the pizza."

"Everyone preaches body acceptance, until you show up naked at the company picnic."