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Joke of the Day

"A penny lies below the cliff where a jew and black man jumps from, who wins? We don't have enough information to conclude who's likely to win"

"What do you call a drug-addicted canine? A meth lab!"

"I'm getting pretty worried, my girlfriend hasn't gotten her period yet. And she's already 14."

"Whose son was Edward the Black Prince ? Old King Coal !"

"To understand the difference between Italians and Canadians all you need to know is two things. Italian sausage and Canadian bacon..."

"Do you, Karen, take David the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?"

"You ever hear about the guy who goosed the ghost? He got a handful of sheet."

"Why can't astronauts eat popsicles? In space, no one can hear the ice cream truck."

"[Ghost describing stalker to sketch artist] ""He was a yellow circle with a demonic mouth."" *holds up drawing of Pac-Man* *sobs* THAT'S HIM!"

"Why Can't You Play UNO With Mexicans? They keep stealing the goddamn green cards."