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Joke of the Day

"My gangsta career was brought to an abrupt and tragic end when my homies caught me sipping on a frappucino doing my taxes"

"A man had his left arm and leg removed. He's all right now."

"Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk."

"Hate it when couples fight & change their relationship status to ""single"". I fight with my parents, and don't change my status to ""orphan""."

"i get ignored so much my name should be terms and conditions"

"How can you tell that your waitress is having a bad day? She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil."

"[alarm clock goes off] ok it's happening again it's a day and it's here again *googling* day again why how to unsubscribe days"

"2 in 3 people live next to a pedophile I don't, I live next door to two smoking hot 8 year olds."

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? ...I don't pay 100$ to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What's the difference between slavery and a cow? You stop milking a cow after 150 years."