142249

Joke of the Day

"Hate it when couples fight & change their relationship status to ""single"". I fight with my parents, and don't change my status to ""orphan""."

"I can swallow two pieces of string and make them come out an hour later tied together I SHIT YOU KNOT"

"In the 1970s, a team of racist office supply scientists invented the whiteboard with an evil plan to replace every blackboard in the world."

"Ah ? ha ? ha ? ha ? stayin' alive, stayin alive ? ? ? ?."

"""Woo, I'm on a roll today, baby!"" -butter"

"How do you die by heroin? When you are the villain"

"Hey, bus driver... Would you stop and let me and my friend, Jack off?"

"Why is Hillary running for President? Because it's easier than running from the law."

"If there's 'Extra Virgin' olive oil, there has to be a 'Dirty Slut' variety as well"

"her: psssssssst me: ? her: psssssssssssssssssssssst me: ??? her: psssssssssssssssssssssssssssst GOD DAMN IT, MY BLOW UP DOLL HAS A PUNCTURE"