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Joke of the Day

"Hate it when couples fight & change their relationship status to ""single"". I fight with my parents, and don't change my status to ""orphan""."

"My youngest son's dirty clothes sit on the floor, beneath the laundry chute. I admire his hope that they'll bounce up and swish down."

"What is a... ...pain in the ass to do with a woman? Anything What is a pain in the ass to do without a woman? Sex"

"[first date] Him: You're amazing! I'm having a great time! Me: I will fight you for the rest of this pizza."

"Why did the farmer vivisect his daughter? He wanted to reverse cowgirl."

"What do you get when you mix a bush and a motorcycle? A hedgehog"

"My brother's on a seafood diet. Really? Yes the more he sees food the more he eats."

"[Police sketch artist job interview] ""How am I not qualified?"" Your resume is a stick figure and a poorly drawn igloo ""It's a cat actually"""

"How do you give a catholic priest a circumcision? Kick the altar boy in the chin."

"I like my porn just how I like my search history Disabled. EDIT: First post and front page. Woohoo!"