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Joke of the Day

"2 in 3 people live next to a pedophile I don't, I live next door to two smoking hot 8 year olds."

"Who's got two thumbs and might be doing this police lineup wrong?"

"What do you call a pansexual guy named Nick who works at a cd store? Pan nick at the disc co."

"Have you ever been to a Native American orgy? It's fucking intense man!"

"My girlfriend once used Vaseline when she gave me a handjob . . I came four or five times trying to wash it off."

"Yo momma's so fat ...that the city of Dublin was named after her daily weight gain."

"Take that seed. Yes that one Burn it. Now crunch it up. More. Now pour this hot water on it. Let me drink that. It's good. Name it ""coffee"""

"Told my boss I would be turning in my badge and my gun. He said you work in IT, why do you have a gun?"

"While at work ""You must love putin"" ""Why?"" ""Because your a rushin!"""

"Sodium...Sodium...Sodium...Sodium...Sodium... Batman!"