173529

Joke of the Day

"If you find something wrong with EVERY person you meet maybe it's because you haven't been introduced to yourself!"

"Did you hear the news about quadriplegia research? No? Probably because they haven't been making great strides."

"What's worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A baby stapled to ten trees."

"Q: What happens to an air conditioner when you pull its plug? A: It loses its cool."

"Been married six months and I can't even remember the last time I felt lucky on Google."

"You remind me of my step-son... I'm only nice to you because I'm fucking your mother"

"I'm gonna name my firstborn ""arial"" and people will be like ""oh like the mermaid"" and i'll say ""no like the font"""

"What is the most popular breakfast at the World Trade Center? A plane bagel."

"What's comforting and scary at the same time? A warm toilet seat."

"I asked a sexy chinese girl for her number, she replied sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight... I said wow, I must be in luck, until her friend grabbed me and said, she means 6663629"