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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the news about quadriplegia research? No? Probably because they haven't been making great strides."

"I went to see a psychic today She said she was expecting me"

"You're so fat, they oughta call your dick ""Gary Oldman"" ...Cause it always disappears into a roll."

"Me: I'll take 'Marriage' for 800 Alex Alex: Having one wife too many Me: What is bigamy Alex: Nooo. We were looking for, what is monogamy"

"My 9 year old son just told me this one Q: What do you call 5 doctors and nurses on a ship? A: A decade Ba dum tish."

"You know what they say about big hands... Big clock."

"If you think meeting your girlfriends parents is hard just remember? Someone is going to try to date Eminems daughter"

"Why can't midgets run? The grass tickles their balls."

"Promoting religious concepts is a sin"

"My mom asked me how my cooking final was I said it was a piece of cake :)"