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Joke of the Day

"You remind me of my step-son... I'm only nice to you because I'm fucking your mother"

"Why are there no suicide books on librarys? because those who take them never bring them back."

"As an adult, I don't like talking about church I went as a kid, but it's a touchy subject"

"What do you call a black cat than can spring up to a six foot wall ? A good jumpurr !"

"My boss told me to have a good day.. So I went home."

"What is Tigger's favorite day? Leap Day, but Spring Forward is a close second."

"What is the difference between a black guy and a white guy that sells drugs? One's a pharmacist and the other's a drug dealer."

"I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late."

"What do you get when you cross a black and asian man? (slightly racist) A car thief that can't drive."

"I just bought a very tiny amphibian for a pet. It's my-newt!"