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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Irishman wear two condoms? To be sure, to be sure."
Next Joke
"That hot person you've been flirting with over the internet has one normal arm and one shrivelled T. rex arm."
"""Mickey Mouse, you want to divorce Minnie cause she was... extremely silly?"" ""No, I said she was fucking Goofy"""
"[Friend opens Christmas present] Me: It's a lie detector Friend: Oh... I love it Me: (whispering) we'll see"
"Masturbation Causes Blindness So one day, my Dad sits me down and tells me ""Son, masturbation is bad and will cause you to go blind. "" I had to tell him I was on the other side of the room."
"12yo: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What's wrong with the one we live in? 12yo: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son."
"Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? They say he had loco-motives."
"Most of us are 2 feet away from being a double amputee..."
"We saw a Taliban bukkake film the other night. It was much the same as a normal porn film, except there was a much bigger explosion over her face at the end."
"What's the speed limit for sex? Sixty-eight. At 69 you have to turn around."