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Joke of the Day

"That hot person you've been flirting with over the internet has one normal arm and one shrivelled T. rex arm."

"Why do circumcised men lack Jedi brethren? The procedure removes their force-kin."

"GOD: Let's give her ALL the awesome. ""But what if it's TOO much awesome?"" GOD: Then we'll divide it evenly between multiple personalities."

"How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool."

"A woman has sued a hospital, stating that, after recent treatment, her husband had lost interest in sex. The doctors replied: All we did was correct his eyesight'"

"I remember directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene... Some say I'm the fresh and bold thing that theatre needs, others that I ruined the nativity."

"My ten year-old daughter is learning Chinese characters in school, so she can pick out a really good lower-back tattoo when she gets older"

"Awful Knock Knock Joke Knock Knock Who's there? Didgerid Didgerid who? bzanweaaaangggglllllddeeeeeoooooowwwwwaaaaannnn.... In my opinion, the lamer the knock knock joke, the better."

"Why did the kittens turn atheist? Coz their eyes opened."

"What time do Lumberjacks take their tea-break? TREE O'clock!"