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Joke of the Day

"Masturbation Causes Blindness So one day, my Dad sits me down and tells me ""Son, masturbation is bad and will cause you to go blind. "" I had to tell him I was on the other side of the room."

"All the toys in Toy Story are pervs Their whole world and life revolves around being played with by little kids."

"Had sex with a deaf and blind paraplegic girl. Fucked her senseless."

"Me: Hello, my name is Vikki and I'm an alcoholic. Operator: Ma'am, this is AAA. Me: I know. I'm an alcoholic and now my car is in a ditch."

"What happened to the Marine that took a laxative? He was relieved of doodie."

"Q: What do you call a loaf of bread when you cut off both ends? A: Endless Bread!"

"What is the difference between a boy scout and a Jew ? A boy scout returns back from camp."

"What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins? They think they are in a pickle."

"What do you call a vagina with Parkinson's? [oc] Michael J. Box"

"Me: *enters exam room Doctor: Please take off your... M: *unbuttons pants D: ?? M: *pauses* D: GLASSES! D: I'M AN EYE DR DAMNIT!"