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Joke of the Day

"""Mickey Mouse, you want to divorce Minnie cause she was... extremely silly?"" ""No, I said she was fucking Goofy"""

"What's the difference between some people and a bucket of shit? The bucket."

"Overworked Employee in India"

"If I yawn, and the person talking says, 'Sorry for boring you', I graciously accept their apology. Because, manners."

"I ran into my ex the other day... Then I put the car in reverse and backed into her again."

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't."

"What's the difference between watts and ohms? Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live."

"You're in the middle of the ocean and you see Trump and Hillary drowning but you only have room in your boat to save one. Who do you save? America. Keep right on going and don't stop."

"I, for one... like Roman numerals."

"What's the difference between batman and a black man? Batman can go into a store without robin."