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Joke of the Day

"*found in the netflix horror section* ""Mary has a secret that'll TEAR YOU APART"" Movie name: Mary piranha"

"my wife says she's leaving me for being to arrogant. I said don't slam the door on your way back in."

"""We should clean the bathroom."" ""Why? Are we moving?"""

"Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever."

"I took a class in Women's Studies last semester. It was the tits."

"Why was 10 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9."

"I was kicked out of karate class today for describing everything the instructor did as ""senseitational"""

"The Flash jacks off Welp, guess i jacked this one off too!"

"So my girl cheated on me and I said ""wanna hear an anti-joke?""... I love you"

"My grandma can hold her breath for over fourteen years!"