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Joke of the Day

"Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever."

"[Crossword] 7 across) Person you work with, 9 letters COWORKER 21 down) Person you hate, 9 letters COWORKER"

"How does Donald Trump adopt pets? He just grabs the first pussy he sees."

"What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush. (Credit to my uncle)"

"A Texas sheriff found a black man who was shot 12 times. He said it was the worst case of suicide he'd ever seen."

"No one shows their true character more than when they are retrieving their bags from baggage claim"

"I can't get out of bed These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust."

"Why do elephants hate flying? The seats are too small."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning."

"I just heard that someone at my gym drilled a hole in the wall of the girls locker room. Police are looking into it."