27300

Joke of the Day

"My grandma can hold her breath for over fourteen years!"

"What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos."

"A teacher walks up to a Mexican criminal... A teacher walks up to a Mexican criminal and asks him to turn in his essay. The Mexican criminal says ""Me no snitch."""

"I've spent 50% of my life learning how to live without drugs and alcohol and the other 50% happy."

"If you zoom out during the opening credits of ""Friends,"" you'll see that the security guard who protects that fountain is DEAD."

"I heard Reese's is doing a monkey shaped chocolate bar now.. It's called a Reese's Macaque."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff."

"If you don't like your son, grab a football and tell him to go long. Never throw it. He's gone now."

"In response to the Country Singer lightbulb joke, how many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 13. 1 to do it, and 12 to say they could do it better."

"I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is still awake at midnight and talking back right now."