171104

Joke of the Day

"MC HAMMER: U can't touch this! ... U can't touch this! MASSAGE THERAPIST: Please just let me do my job Mr. Hammer! MC HAMMER: U can't tou..."

"3-year-old: What's a swear word?Me: A bad word moms and dads only say when they're mad.3:Me:3: Is my middle name a swear word?"

"I really don't appreciate ghosts coming back from the dead just to tell me I'm doing a bad job. Boooooo"

"Pork is awesome, but it's best when used as a verb."

"A friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan.. making land mines that look like prayer mats. He's doing very well, business is booming and Prophets are going through the roof."

" You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why. Life gets worse when you're an adult. "

"Are you a cat because you're purrrrrrfect."

"I once had a lot of arguments and rants with my bank manager. But then I decided to consolidate all my rants into one simple monthly outburst."

"[kelloggs meeting] ""okay so, the corn flakes box, what can we put on it?"" a chicken ""jim is there something wrong at home?"""

"Is your pH 14? Cause you're a basic bitch"