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Joke of the Day

"Pork is awesome, but it's best when used as a verb."

"Last year for Christmas I got my little brother an abacus in the shape of a medieval Stronghold... He hated it and was really ungrateful. Our dad said ""Hey! It's the fort that counts."""

"What you shouldnt answer when a parent asks you what to do if their baby wont stop crying I dont know, just foogle it"

"If you commit a crime be sure to wear running clothes, so if you need to flee the scene cops will just think ""Look at that healthy jogger"""

"Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter"

"Why should you never trust soap? It's an emulsive lyer."

"What do 8 hobbits make? A hobbyte."

"My three year old had a nightmare last night He lost his ipad"

"Pregnancy in the 1940's. (Doc) - ""Mrs. Smith, I have some **great** news for you"".... (Patient) - ""Thats MISS Smith, doctor!"".... (Doc) - ""Miss Smith, I have some *bad* news for you""...."

"Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking his balls. The first guy says, ""Man, I wish I could do that. The second guy says, ""Pet him, maybe he'll let you."""