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Joke of the Day

"[kelloggs meeting] ""okay so, the corn flakes box, what can we put on it?"" a chicken ""jim is there something wrong at home?"""

"Excuse me sir, where do you keep the ""Whoomp""? Oh, there it is."

"Just wrote a song about making sandwiches using tortillas. ... Well, it's more of a rap..."

"I put the U in murder"

"SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake."

"What kind of computer can sing? A Dell."

"Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like BBs, rub one ball & everything moves."

"whose playing shaggy so much? Velma"

"Mr.Bond caught pants down ""Ah, Mr Bond, I-"" *closes laptop lid and pulls up trousers* ""-wasn't expecting you."""

"Why are Sharks the only species that get their own week? I'd totally watch hermit crab week if they had one."