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Joke of the Day

"Two women are gardening when one pulls up a huge carrot, she says ""this reminds me of my husband"" and the other woman says, ""that big?"" and the first one says ""No, that dirty."""

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"Underage girl, sucking on daddy's cock, gets jizzed on all over he......... Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a google image search."
"What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar? He raised Cain."
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"I was on a date and my credit card got declined. Her credit card got declined too. Then I knew I was in love."
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"Ted Cruz has aborted his campaign ..but I say he should be forced to carry it to full term"
"What does it say on Billy Mays' s tomb stone? BILLY MAYS HERE!"
"Did you hear about that terrorist attacks in Moscow? There's Ruble everywhere."
"What does a mathematician get from a day at the beach? Tan lines."