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Joke of the Day

"So now that corporations are people... McDonalds just became the first corporation diagnosed with a disease... Aspbergers"

"The days of good grammar has went."

"I had a bad diarrhea few days back... Someone online suggested I should try potatoes. I've showed one up by butt and I haven't taken a shit in 3 days! Thanks stranger!"

"I walked outside my house wearing my Saran Wrap suit, my neighbor said ""I always knew you were crazy, but now I can clearly see your nuts!"""

"Congrats Amy Winehouse on being 5 years sober"

"Fifteen years ago I asked my high school crush out on a date, yesterday I asked her to marry me... ... She said no both times."

"My dog cant hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away"

"The shit stains in my toilet are so peaceful I just can't piss them off."

"Apparently, ""I had an interview with a better company"" is not an acceptable reason for being late for work."

"Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning."