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Joke of the Day

"Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th. ""Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."""

"Feel free to not tell me how sore you are from working out."

"why do people live in regular houses when there are steakhouses"

"Why is Alabama the worlds biggest sandwich? Because the whole state is inbred"

"I DIDN'T SAFELY EJECT MY FLASH DRIVE AND NOW MY DOG IS DEAD"

"My grandmother used to tell us a joke... She'd say ""Knock knock"", we'd say ""Who's there?"". Then she'd say ""I can't remember""... and start to cry."

"""Welcome back, happy New Year!"" ""Thank you!"" ""Welcome!"" And that's the last time I'm taking Bollywood movie suggestions from my friends."

"I opened the door last night to carol singers & said ""Do you know Silent Night?"" ""Yes"" they replied ""Well piss off then because I want one!"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Betsy ! Betsy who ? Betsy of all it's a cadillac !"

"""I just need some space."" - astronaut break up"